You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize