It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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