So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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