wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
