I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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