This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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