I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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