and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
