What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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