i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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