there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
