Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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