don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.