This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
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That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
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Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?