He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.