OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.