Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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