Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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