i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
