I wanna bring you to show and tell
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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