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Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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