it hurts more in the daytime
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
