I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
