Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Did I show you my penis last night?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
