Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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