i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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