Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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