Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
