She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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