didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
