At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
last night I used snow as a chaser
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize