Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
