I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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