So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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