i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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