Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
