id be glad to
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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