Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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