if you like me you must not know who I am
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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