That's intense
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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