do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
