i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
