Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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