Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
