I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
