There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
