He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
