p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
