Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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