does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
