i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
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I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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