Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
