Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
