I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
