Where is the hickey?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
