You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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