even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
