Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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