I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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