I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
