I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
