all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
