Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
