how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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