I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
