No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
