it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
