She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's blow job season.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
