What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
