history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
